today i had a bad day.

I woke with a back spasm, got up and walked into the kitchen dad burned my toast and over cooked my egg, -no coffee-.i watched a jodie foster movie that sucked  , i slipped in the shower, bruised my knee. cut myself in the shower.

I do my hair so i can hang out with chastity, she cancels on me when i walk out the door to pick her up. mom makes me drink earl grey tea and lay down. i fall asleep and have a nightmare, i wake up at 4 pm. my hair's a wreck i redo it, while i'm straightening it caroline calls i'm thrilled but wilest laying my flat iron down it burns a hole in my pink skinny wallet. i have to get my sparkley one that's falling apart out instead. caroline invites me to a baseball game, her mother criticizes my choice of shoe apparel, on the way there four people pull out infront of me. i almost wrecked twice and my phone craps out on me. I get to the ball game, i get the ticket that makes me sit beside a stange person i've never met so that i can make awkward small talk. Then we get food her mom gets me a hot dog, the bun is squished and it falls apart in my hand. caroline gives me some of her popcorn i get it stuck in my gum that has an infection in the spot. owwie. caroline's cousin collier who is 9 wants dippin dots we get them for him and he spills them in my lap. the we get softserve for me and caroline mine spills over and makes my hands sticky. collier wants to play, so we take him to the dandy jumpers, and we get one to ourselves so we can jump, we play a water balloon game... collier and caroline play the game then collier calls for me bc he's too short and i have to help him throw them at her. ... we get soaked my hair is now frizzy. we walk back beneath the balcony somone throws their coke down that has popcorn backwash in it... it hits me. then someone who is chewing dip spits and it gets in my hair. i come home almost wreck again, my mom gets on my case bc i haven't made cup cakes yet, i make the cupcakes then i call my boyfriend , his mom's friend is over and gets on my case for kissing him infront of his parents, mind you a peck not tongue or anything else. then she tells me she'll hit me with a flyswatter for pda, like i'm the molester and i have false  eyelashes and everything, some tells my i'm an idiot for being a liberal democrat, i tell them my mother has more degrees than they will ever have, they reply with but that won't stop you from getting pregnant, i reply oh yeah just like your mom who had your bastard siblings. my dad breaks it up. i sit down and realize there were supposed to be fireworks at the baseball game and i missed them. i make hot tea again and the smoke alarm goes off waking my mom and she starts screaming. i finally calm her down then sit down to the computer and aske my best friend to tell me something happy she says "dancing puppies in grassy medows"  i cheer up then i blog this and get sad again. i haven't had a day this bad since my godmother died.

I asked my God Mother when i was litte "Auntie Helen, Where do you find God?"

She replied "Anywhere."

   Since then i've always searched for God everywhere, i've been finding him in a lot of places like my school, in the sky, in people's faces. I look around for him everywhere. i kinda wanna ask "God where are you?" I go to a traditional presbyterian church and i don't really feel the spirit during the service, i do during sunday school, when i'm talking to my teacher about God when i'm explaining how it makes me feel. I dont' think a lot of the classes feel what i feel, i don't really know but most of the people in the classes aren't overly happy. Recently i've been seeing God in movies like the Dark Knight The scene is where they're on the ships crossing the river, and all the civilians are making the choice to blow up the other boat filled with convicts. The remarkable thing is the convict who takes the detenator throws it out of the window and it lands in the water. I think to myself hey look God is there. i look in a lot of places. I see him a lot. where do you find God?